Ups and Downs

Finally! The holiday season has officially started! Time to break out the muffin pans, cookie sheets, mixing bowls, etc. Right now, it seems that this wonderful season is one of the few things keeping me together as the semester draws to a close.

This past week has been extremely hectic for academic and emotional reasons. Let's start with academics:

This week encompassed a test, a practicum, a 5 hour geography project, a quiz, an essay in french about my opinions on welfare, and countless other little assignments to keep myself busy. While I've managed to keep up with it all (with the exception of one homework assignment), it has been extremely stressful with the addition of emotional stresses.

The past few weeks have been emotionally draining. Period. I feel that my efforts socially and academically are not appreciated and that friendships I've made are weakening because I've been so busy this semester. I also feel betrayed by several people whom I did everything to salvage a friendship with. I feel disrespected, ignored, and I feel like some people don't really care about me the way I thought they did.

I am very hurt because I have never been unfair or unkind to anyone and simply can't understand why they feel I don't deserve the same in return. If I have a problem with someone, I am at least civil with them. I don't go behind their back and tell lies, I don't play myself out as a helpless victim, and I don't try to turn their friends against them.

I am not just referring to one person or incidence, this is just triggered by a recent one. I am frustrated and hurt and I feel that I have been treated very unfairly in a situation that could have been resolved very easily.

That is the major emotional weight on me right now. I am also stressing because one of my good friends is in the hospital after a devastating car crash. I am stressing because I am unsure of my future, what I want to do, what I am going to do.

I am trying to sort everything out. I am sorry that this isn't as happy of a blog as I normally post, so to finish on a good note, here is a picture of a cupcake made of flowers:

I hope all of you are having a holiday season that is off to a great start and I look forward to posting through Christmas as I bake and create and get the Holiday spirits up :)

Until next time!

Giving Thanks

After a 5 hour drive home, a day of shopping, a day of visiting friends, and 2 days of work, it is Thanksgiving! (or, rather, the day after). We drove up through sleet and snow and the Jersey Turnpike to visit my family in Connecticut. I spent time talking with relatives I have known for my whole life and relatives I’ve only met once before and relatives whom I’ve never met! It was a lot of fun, especially seeing my grandpa, who was sick last week.

I have to say that is what I was thankful for this year. It was good to see all of my family together for my grandpa, if for nothing else than for him to see all of his children and grandchildren (and great-grand child!). He was in good enough health to laugh and talk with everyone and be the general center of attention, which in and of itself was something to be truly thankful for.

Other things I am thankful for this year are: My awesome family, my fantastic friends, the great school I go to, my good academic standing, my brother’s good academic standing, the amazing luck and opportunities I have had, the love I have received from so many people, and, of course, for my boyfriend. I am so thankful to have all of these things and people in my life and I really do feel very fortunate and blessed.

I am writing this while on my way home from Connecticut. I have been up since 3:40 a.m., it is currently 8:31 p.m., and I plan on shopping at Khols at 3:00 a.m. tomorrow morning. This is going to be a busy 24 hours! I believe we are somewhere in New Jersey, but I am not entirely sure. I just know that there is still a while to go!

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving and took time to reflect on the things that you are thankful for :)

Until Next time!

Pre-Thanksgiving Christmas Spirit

There are times when I am certain that my mind reverts to its childlike state. This can be fun and adorable and I like knowing that I haven't matured so much as to completely shut down my inner child. There should be limits, though, to how childish I can be :P

The other day, my boyfriend and I went to Walmart simply for the sake of an adventure and after travelling over a rather foggy and spooky mountain road, we arrived at a Walmart in a tiny town out in the middle of nowhere. Upon entering, we were bombarded with red, green, and gold as the whole front display was completely dominated by Christmas merchandise. My inner child instantly made itself known and I proceeded to skip happily down rows of ornaments, tinsel, and stockings.

Reaching the end of a row, I stopped dead in my tracks. At the very end of the aisle, on a giant flat screen television, my favorite Christmas movie was playing: Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. And, yes, I am referring to the 1964 stop motion version. I sat down right in the middle of the aisle and watched, completely enthralled. My boyfriend, not knowing how much I love this movie, laughed and tried to drag me away. I craned my neck to continue to watch as we walked away. Little did I know we were heading to the movies section and from there to the Christmas movie section. My boyfriend went and found the DVD for Rudolph and bought it for me so we could watch it at home!

I could not stop smiling on the way home, eagerly waiting to watch the beloved movie. I grabbed a snack, made myself comfortable on the couch, and we proceeded to watch the movie, myself smiling the entire time.

It's nice to know that my 5-year-old self is doing well :)

Big Paws and a Big Pause

Last week, just after my last post, my boyfriend suggested an incredibly fun idea for the weekend: going to the zoo! I didn’t even know that there was a zoo around here! Saturday morning, we headed out (my boyfriend, his sister, and myself) and took the hour drive to Natural Bridge Park and turned into a tiny gravel driveway with a rather old building. We paid for the tickets and then proceeded on to see the animals.

For a zoo that 1) Was in the middle of nowhere and 2) Looked rather worn down, there were a lot of animals! Lemurs, camels, giraffes (which were incredibly fun to feed), deer, rheas, moneys, and, (most importantly) BABY TIGERS!!!!!!! They were adorable! There was a Bengal cub and a White cub. They were so cute playing with each other and their paws were enormous compared to their bodies. Why is it that disproportion in baby animals is what generally makes them so cute?
Following our trip to the zoo, we headed to our favorite antique shop. I found the desk with the secret compartments that I had discovered and found (to my relief) that the papers inside the secret compartments were still there. I was the first person to touch these papers since 1923 and, since I can’t afford the desk ($995), I decided to ask if I could simply buy the papers. I was able to happily purchase them for $3.

Sunday came and went without much going on. The school week followed without many blips on the radar, except a Geography test. It is now Saturday morning. I’ve woken up early, just early enough to see the sunrise and I’m just sitting here, thinking, just taking time to relax and let myself fully know that today is going to be good. I could sit here for hours just thinking, sort of pushing a Pause button on life. I have nowhere to be. I have nothing to do. I can just relax.
It’s a rather nice feeling :)

I hope anyone who reads this takes just a little time today (and everyday) to just relax and be at peace, just for a little bit.

Until next time!

November Peace

It's morning, far too early to be doing anything (at least for a college student). Staring out my window, I notice an eerie calm about the day; there is no wind stirring the branches of the trees, no birds, no people walking by. It is simply still. It is an overcast day with a minimal amount of sunshine peeking through, casting a muted glow over our apartment complex.

It is completely silent.

I can't help think to myself how peaceful this is. How last night the entire area was one gigantic screaming fest of cheers as our football team battled its way to victory. How fireworks lit up the sky and cut through the air each time we scored. And now, all is quiet and calm and so different in an almost spooky way.

The peace of this morning is very comforting on a Friday. It brings a sense of quiet confidence that today will be a good day, tomorrow will be a good day, and perhaps even the day after that will be a good day. It's almost a way of nature reassuring every weary-eyed college student that life isn't so chaotic. Everyone just take a moment and listen to the silence this morning. Listen to your own thoughts and one by one let them drift until you are at peace.

This train of thought is then broken as a bus goes by, a student turns on their car with a loud rev of its engine, and an airplane noisily flies by, frightening the birds who had before been resting. The calm is broken, but the comforting sense of peace is not.

Today is going to be a good day :)

Too Many Tests!

Hello all! As you can see, I have again slacked on my promise to keep the blog up to date. My excuse this time is simply having too many tests. It is now round two of tests this semester and I have had plenty to study and stress about. No worries though, It is nearly the end and I've come out mostly intact.

In the past few weeks, I have:

-Dressed as a vampire
-Dressed as a medieval princess
-Dressed as a Grecian princess
-Taken 4 tests
-Prepared for the 5th
-Recieved an atlas for a fantastic score on a geography test (a really nice atlas!)
-Made several Christmas presents
-Started countless others
-Celebrated my boyfriend's birthday with birthday frosting because I was too lazy to make a cake (Shocking considering how much I love to bake)
-Painted
-Sketched
-Knitted
-Read
-Read some more
-Read a little bit more
-Saved my computer from the blue screen of (near) death
-Quit most of my Facebook games

Why did I quit the Facebook games? So I could have much more time to do other, more productive and fun things, like yoga, reading, painting, and whistling random songs.

I actually thought about all of the time I spend on Facebook alone and it was rather shocking. I find that I am being much more productive with my time and I tend to feel more accomplished at the end of the day :)

Anywhos, I have some reading to do, some muffins to bake, and a meeting to prepare for.

Until Next Time!!

FALLing in Love

Firstly, as always, I must apologise for the lack of blog. So many things have been going on and it has been quite chaotic. I will, again, try to be better about this :)

Secondly, HAPPY AUTUMN!! We all know that this is the second best time of year (next to the holiday season) and I just can't help but think of all the things that make this season so beautiful and perfect. The warmth of autumn spices, the changing leaves, the crisp autumn smell in the air...

I've never understood why Spring has more of a "love" feel to it than Fall. Yes, Spring is when everything springs back to life, flowers blossoming, birds singing, etc. I feel that Fall has so much more of a romantic feeling about it. It is warm and full of such deep, rich colors and flavors. Fireplaces, spices, harvest, the amazing display of autumn leaves. Much more romantic than bees and rain, hmmm?

Anywhos, as to what I've been doing for the past several weeks:

-Doing well in school
-Changing from on-campus housing to an apartment
-Decorating aforementioned apartment
-Baking in aforementioned apartment
-Enjoying life in aforementioned apartment
-Knitting
-Enjoying floral design
-Cleaning
-Making things messy
-Cleaning some more
-Watching Disney movies and reliving parts of my childhood
-Sewing a plaid dragon (his name is Jake)
-Loving life

In case you were wondering what Jake looks like:

Also, here are some of the arrangements I have been able to make:






I have the day off today, so I think I will go outside and enjoy the amazing Autumn weather (after homework and cleaning and laundry and cooking...)

Until Next Time!