Ups and Downs

Finally! The holiday season has officially started! Time to break out the muffin pans, cookie sheets, mixing bowls, etc. Right now, it seems that this wonderful season is one of the few things keeping me together as the semester draws to a close.

This past week has been extremely hectic for academic and emotional reasons. Let's start with academics:

This week encompassed a test, a practicum, a 5 hour geography project, a quiz, an essay in french about my opinions on welfare, and countless other little assignments to keep myself busy. While I've managed to keep up with it all (with the exception of one homework assignment), it has been extremely stressful with the addition of emotional stresses.

The past few weeks have been emotionally draining. Period. I feel that my efforts socially and academically are not appreciated and that friendships I've made are weakening because I've been so busy this semester. I also feel betrayed by several people whom I did everything to salvage a friendship with. I feel disrespected, ignored, and I feel like some people don't really care about me the way I thought they did.

I am very hurt because I have never been unfair or unkind to anyone and simply can't understand why they feel I don't deserve the same in return. If I have a problem with someone, I am at least civil with them. I don't go behind their back and tell lies, I don't play myself out as a helpless victim, and I don't try to turn their friends against them.

I am not just referring to one person or incidence, this is just triggered by a recent one. I am frustrated and hurt and I feel that I have been treated very unfairly in a situation that could have been resolved very easily.

That is the major emotional weight on me right now. I am also stressing because one of my good friends is in the hospital after a devastating car crash. I am stressing because I am unsure of my future, what I want to do, what I am going to do.

I am trying to sort everything out. I am sorry that this isn't as happy of a blog as I normally post, so to finish on a good note, here is a picture of a cupcake made of flowers:

I hope all of you are having a holiday season that is off to a great start and I look forward to posting through Christmas as I bake and create and get the Holiday spirits up :)

Until next time!